This song makes me smile :)

The Greatness - Raheem Devaughn featuring Wale

This kinda love has to exist somewhere right? cause they sing about it.!! Teddy's sexxyyy....lol. I think my mother colored my perception of Sexy men. This was the era of men that my mom and aunts would be gushing over. I may not have known exactly what there were talking about then....but it stuck. Chocolate man, goatee, bright smile... AUTOMATIC CRUSH!
hahah Worse if he's talented. Teddy was alll those things. I feel like that lady in the audience who does that little Happy DANCE.
Renaissance men ROCK!

Street Lights - Kanye

I love this song.
I love it because its the same lyrics over and over and over.
I've been there.
A train of thought ..that remains the same..but through the nuance of emphasis..and intent..and delivery - the CONTENT can change.
I'm a Kanye Stan.
I think I am cause i can relate to the tortured artist aspect. An overfilled brain...spewing content to avoid exploding. Lyrics after the jump

let me know, do i still got time to grow
things aint always set in stone
with that being, let me know
let me

seems like
streetlights
glowing
happened to be
just like moments
passing,
in front of me

so i hopped in,
the cab and
i paid my fare, see
i know my, destination
but im just not there

all seems like
streetlights
glowing
happened to be
just like moments
passing,
in front of me

so i hopped in,
the cab and
i paid my fare, see
i know my, destination
but im just not there

seems like
streetlights
glowing
happened to be
just like moments
passing,
in front of me

so i hopped in,
the cab and
i paid my fare, see
i know my, destination
but im just not there

life's just not fair

this month has been....
transforming...
a death of a friend...murdered ...in his own home..
leaving so many to mourn him...a humble, simple, genuine person.
Taken.

A death of another..days apart...
it feels like a sick joke.
younger than I am...a heart attack...

A baby son of a friend hospitalized...for days...

A family friend who scared the hell out of us..
by collapsing and being hospitalized for days..

At some moments...
I just want to rail at the ...Unfairness of it all...
in a way I'm still numb...
because to attempt to process all of this all once..
while still dealing with the hills and valleys of my own life..


Processing ...has left me..
almost DEVOID of responding.
I would think that its grief...
I can only imagine what those closer to them are feeling...
The THOUGHT of their grief paralyzes me..

the day to day silly simple conversations with my sister...i think has kept me ...
tethered..
that even in the midst of all this...
uncertainty and fear..and loss..
that I can hold on to
the No specific direction...
no specific purpose...
but ALTOGETHER necessary interaction with someone who values me...and I value.

I'm so unbelievably THANKFUL, GRATEFUL for this.

The truth is...
we could all be gone..TOMORROW.
TODAY.
Just.
Like.
That.

So cherish the people you hold close to you..
in spite of the disagreements,
the misunderstandings,
the conflicts,
the misgivings,

Cherish the ones who even just APPEAR to love you...
this life is fleeting..
so hold on to the tender moments and the not so tender..
because even those moments that you would rather escape...

those moments mean..
that you are here.

Alive.
With endless possibilities to grow, and love, and cry and learn.
Alive

I'm not sure how exactly...
i just feel it...
so i smile sweetly..
and mourn the passing...
ignore the slew of questions sitting on my chest..
on my tongue...
in my soul..
because..i have no control over this...
Never did.

So i muddle through...
as always...
the soldier.

its just coincidence and happen stance?
glass and mirrors...
flash no substance...??
what does that make me?

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

Pain can surprise you..
old scars...issues thought buried...
realized in front of your eyes...
conjured by a memory...
back to the moment...