Sleepless
Sunday, March 12, 2006
So...I guess I'm single again...and with it has come all these insecurities...about my body, and my intelligence...and my abilities to cope with life...
My friends and loved ones try to reassure me that I'm perfectly capable of dealing with whatever I run into...
But at night the demons come...
they're called insecurity, and fear and failure...
I'm a cancer survivor...and during my therapy a lot of issues raised their heads with me.....things that had nevr affected me before...
Stupid shit....like...I can't take a compliment....I cant trust that what someone is saying to me is genuine....or that I'm anything that they believe I am...
Stupid shit...Iike being so critical of myself that I cry to myself at night....
Stupid shit....like doubting if my brain is capable of staying strong through this shit....
Stupid shit...like......am I good enough, or strong enough....or smart enough....
I sound like a basket case...huh?
My friends and loved ones try to reassure me that I'm perfectly capable of dealing with whatever I run into...
But at night the demons come...
they're called insecurity, and fear and failure...
I'm a cancer survivor...and during my therapy a lot of issues raised their heads with me.....things that had nevr affected me before...
Stupid shit....like...I can't take a compliment....I cant trust that what someone is saying to me is genuine....or that I'm anything that they believe I am...
Stupid shit...Iike being so critical of myself that I cry to myself at night....
Stupid shit....like doubting if my brain is capable of staying strong through this shit....
Stupid shit...like......am I good enough, or strong enough....or smart enough....
I sound like a basket case...huh?
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