That I could change my personality...
I like to please people...
it easy for me to do..
I'm not being facetious or false either ..
it comes really easy to me..I think its empathy..
I can always see both sides of a situation..A natural born politician...my talent is to contort words...to twist them to my will..so they project what i want
But in Love..it cannot be so..Then its farce.
Instead I am...Lonely and Safe...

I sometimes wish...
I were a meaner person...
that I could easily dismiss any pain I caused to any one else..Intended or otherwise..and I can dismiss the barbs that people throw at me...deliberately...specifically..I'm learning though to not take the bait.
Instead of mean..I'm just cold...and I don't, won't believe what people profess to me...
I have regrets now..got swept up in the whirlwind of FINALLY being understood..and an illusion ...a projection of what could be.
Steups..


I sometimes wish...

That i was a braver person..
to step out on faith and the belief that the universe will protect me..
and make all things right...and not cower in a corner paralyzed when chance is staring at me..
Instead i read the signs that are laid out in front of me...and make the best choices I can with the options I have.. I wish i could call names and take prisoners..

[it came....and went]