and another this morning...

That I'm still afraid to open...

The subject read

....Forgive me..I need you to help me through this...Please..

the email address is The EX Unit...

we been EX a while now...so much so that life when recalled almost feels like someone Else's

A know it all punk [stated lovingly] mentioned in passing once...that the destruction of that relationship had a greater impact on me than I care to acknowledge...

I'm Kinda forced to maybe accept that that may be true...It's one of my greatest Failures..and i hate to fail..that's the only CONCESSION on that I'll give..

anyways..

I haven't opened it....opened Them..

It's the anniversary of a Great Loss for him in his life...[why do i still remember that]
so I'm kinda obligated to believe that its not a forward...or an angry rant...or a insane accusation...

and I still cant grow the BALLS to open it..

I want to delete it..and ignore it...
Cause one..
I can't.....[READ won't] Forgive...
That..ANGER.... fueled my healing...
I'd like to think I am now..Healed ...right?
But the Anger is my friend now...
What the hell will replace it?