Can somebody play some parang??? SomeSignal Hill Alumni..."christmas coming yeah yeah yeah yeahhhh yeahhhhhhh ".... Im longing to hear bamboo bursting in the cool afternoons...When the days cleaning would finally slow down and the smell of lemon pledge and wood varnish would float out on the night air... Im longing to smell fresh bread baking in the mornings...and see loaves of bread and...

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soo...after a few subtle reminders that i have neglected my blog...im back...if only to voice that I am so not into the christmas spirit. I feel like a scrooge-infected grinch....sigh...The commercials are jus making me more and more cranky.....not even my favourite publix commercial with the salt and pepper shakers are kicking me out of this cranky ass mood.Christmas...bah humbug ...

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So....I'm so exhausted. Mentally. Every year its the same thing you know. Right after carnival...I'm just irritated no ass....short tempered, tired, cranky...sigh,.....someone who is sooo wrapped up in their own culture all year...jus completelyannoyed with it. They say Trinis cant get along with each other beyond the length of a soca song.....sigh. Its funny. The very thing I love about my people....Is the...

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So...these images not really mine...lol...i kinda borrow them from a website that i like and admire..( you see the props colin?)Now any designer of costumes has a kinda image of what they want the masqueraders to look in them.....this is my favourite pic to date.These were my last minute girls...lol..and if they think they going anywhere else after this THEY LIE!!!!..lolWe do this...

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sooo.....i've been going through sooo much drama with the carnival thing....that I haven't even had time to post ...but now that things are finally slowing down....i have a lot of things to ....well process....so this is a promise to post.. ...

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Blast from the past....pics that were resurrected I think this is China we playing mas with in Hialeah. Trinis and a Jamaican, who insisted on buying new sneakers [blue] to match the outfit. Did you hear Me ??? NEW....for THAT DAY!!! after three wines, a roti, and 5 carib...she was barefoot with the sneakers hanging around her neck like a weird type of...

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I've been accused of being....super-independent, belligerent...even difficult... It kinda makes me feel like I'm a butch chick, with hair growing out of my armpits wearing a muscle jacket, and picking my teeth with a knife... I'm just complex and intelligent...and outspoken....simple as that... I know I'm not a physical threat to Anybody....wouldnt want to be.. I think people's perception of me is colored...

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QUOTE: "I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy." I've been accused of being....super-independent, belligerent...even difficult... It kinda makes me feel like I'm a butch chick, with hair growing out of my armpits wearing a muscle jacket, and picking my teeth with a knife... I'm just...

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So...I answer the phone...and I get...Clivia? That's a strange name....Sigh...What does it mean? Welll... I've learned from a long time ago...I will never see my name on a key chain in Disney, or a T-shirt....or a sticker. As a kid that was torment.....My sister's Renee and Giselle would come home from trips to "merica with all kinda paraphanelia with their names on it....but...

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Its funny how choices that you make as a youth, and maybe in arrogance can affect the more mature insightful you.As a child I was always precocious. I knew what I wanted...to be the light of my family and itty bitty island....and even more to dance. I wanted papers (education)...and exposure to all the culture that was available to me, but The DANCE...

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So...I answer the phone...and I get...Clivia? That's a strange name....Sigh...What does it mean? Welll... I've learned from a long time ago...I will never see my name on a key chain in Disney, or a T-shirt....or a sticker. As a kid that was torment.....My sister's Renee and Giselle would come home from trips to "merica with all kinda paraphanelia with their names on it....but...

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Soo.... I'm in charge of this ...well..... group right?  And the person in charge is always the one that everybody asks the questions to.  I get that.  You look for direction... and make sure that what you think is in keeping with the vision that we want to produce... But lord...... today I want to jus change my name to Shakuntala Ramlalsingh or...

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So...after months of self analysis...I guess I've mustered up the courage to have a public online blog. I'm going to have to make a special effort to write in it....and write honestly.Usually my writing is therapeutic...not necessarily informative...and now I cant cuss way di mudda so and so...who had the gall to challenge me today...sigh... ...

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So...I had a day where everything that could have gone wrong did. I'm under so many deadlines these past weeks.....and I seem to have a problem saying NO. Just those two words no. Sorry...But I can't... I have 100 Costumes to finish in T minus 12 days...and every year I've tried to minimize the last minute mad dash to complete everything........and ..I've failed...

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