1. Why does it take mediatakeout so long to update in the morning? And what kind of person am I if the website i check right after CNN is Mediatakeout? hmmmm?
2. What the hell do they put in My Dunkin Donuts Coffee? That second sip is as close to ____________ well...you know. What the hell is in it?
3. Am I the only one who wonders why the car behind is so close? And have they been following me this long? OMG they turned off right behind me too?
4. Does Coffee make you paranoid?
5. Can I tell that lady that she cannot wear short skirts without stocking anymore? You CANT lady...you cant anymore. You used to before but for the LOVE OF CHEESE, please cover that uppppp!!

Have a nice day!

A random stranger made me smile today.
I've been ignoring myself....is that possible?..

...well yes I have...
I've been ignoring my emotional self....and focusing on what I need and Must do....
and been assuming that everyone else has been ignoring me too...


Thank you random Guy..
for making a girl feel a little special today ...

:)

Today i feel, weak, and alone, and disconnected from ...well... it doesn't matter.
Its lonely and I try to reach out and I find air and glass.
It's worse because I'm making these huge decisions ...these scary, faith motivated moves based on my heart...and my Head is screaming at me...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??
So while I'm trying to run to Love...I see it behind a wall of plastic blocks..muddled and distorted when it was once a mirror, glass, air..
anyway...

things I feel RIGHT THIS MINUTE:
Everyone has an agenda. EVERYONE. The trick is to understand what the motivation is for their agenda as it pertains to you.
Love is not free...it costs...and the currency is SOULS.
Fear is a motivator...but it shouldn't be your director.
The people who you love have the most power to hurt you. Most times the risk is worth it. Some times its not.
Loneliness will not kill you...Being ALONE may crush you...
Hold on to the guy/girl who loves you MORE when you are not at your most amazing, or funny, or strong, or rational or creative. Hold on Forever!
Sometimes you must let everything Go. Let it go. Let it go.
Fantasy can feed you heart.....reality can crush it.
Sometimes they just don't love you...ENOUGH...
Don't listen to Adele's "Lovesong" when you feel weak or disconnected.

a.  I got my heart completely broken this weekend. But im ok :). This was my last hold out anyways. Now i can be a complete Pessimist...

• Why am i watching Jumpers in SPANISH?? and loving it?
• What do they put In McDonald's Fries and Dunkin Donuts coffee that makes it so addictive?
• Why do i have 19 pairs of heels in my car...and my closet is still overflowing with shoes?
• I sweep when my mind is tangled? Is there a hormone that produces that?
• Is happy contagious? 
• Don't people know that spell check works in your FB status too?
• and finally

This

Don't get me wrong
when i start with a disclaimer...you know a rant coming..
I love Caribbean people....i do..
i think out of all the histories in the world..
ours is the one most filled with adventure, and triumph and pride...
all of us..
our sense of style impeccable, artistic merits, even our ability to LEARN is stellar...
but let me talk trinbagonians for a minute...
The same thing that I love about us....is the thing that can make me run for the hills and move to Yugoslavia or something...
where i can be the unique little brown girl from that "quaint" place...

Why the hell i it so easy to tear down your own people?
to make their lives the subject of your own little bitch fest?
why?
why?
why is it that even when personally they living on friggin ramen with no lights on in the house..
when they 3 cents away from homelessness....but they still feteing..eh?
why ...when they 14 year old girl child might be pregnant and belligerent ..
and they whole household life in a mess...
WHY dear god..
why is it okay to talk so much garbage about other people around them...
to pass they non knowing anything about nothing mouths on people...
why ...do they think they have that power??
and they so bold faced with it.....that they might talk this garbage about other people life to ..say a random stranger....who might not be so flikkin RANDOM???
EH?
EH?
WHYYY?? why u care about who she with?
and where he sleeping?
and you aint here this? or hear that?
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY??

when fire passing , water your own blasted house!!
shut your mouth and save your energy for meditating on your own life...
on protecting your own interests...
if you have nothing good to say...shut your MOUTHHH!!!
next thing is you somebody else talking about...
Other peoples lives should not be fodder for your baseless, unnecessary talk about things that you know nothing about....


Look....i know about picong...i know trinidadians are highly skilled in this area...
shoot we built an entire facet of our musical culture around it...
we are adept at twisting words, manipulating phrases...we're tricky dadians..
i GET it...k?
When i was in NDTC Trinidad...
we had a saying...
"If yuh cyah take pong doh pong..."
People should tattoo that on they're eyelids..
everytime you about to open your mouth about somebody...
that is DELIBERATELY hurtful....worry about the backlash...
what somebody else could say about you..
If your kitchen clean...cool..
but I'm yet to mean a person with no skeletons in their closet...

phew...

so to recap..

just SHADDAP!

ive been tagged,.,,,

1) Mention the name of the blogger who tagged you - its a private blog...sorry guys so i cant
2) List 6 things people won’t know about you when they first meet you. So in other words 6 secrets.
3) Tag 3 more bloggers!

OK so let’s start ..

1) __________ tagged me! :D

2) Six things people don’t know about me .. hmmm:

- I hate taking pictures. It started since I was 2. My eyes are always closed. Maybe I'm trying to stop the camera from stealing my soul...

- My smile doesn't mean i like you...or I'm happy...or I agree... I have six million variations of a smile...but its still my first reaction to most things...

- I can't ride a bike. Daddy never took of the training wheels. It's not my fault.

- I'm afraid of midgets. Serious. DON'T JUDGE ME!! I know im four foot nine Dammit!!!

- I read three books at a time....almost every day..

- I can sing....but I don't anymore...only in the shower.

- I’m not attracted to short men. The Taller the guy...the hotter he is..

done.
SOOOOOOOOOOO.....now im tagging..Sweet 7, Chatty Patty and Nicky Nix...
[disclaimer- they dont have to respond....:)]

father lord...i trying not to be a hypocrite and lord knows im not an activist.. and maybe i just as guilty of the apathy as everbody else....but SCRISE..this FB crap is annoying...CHICK u was just talking about what work u was putting in on the dude in your status TWO SECONDS AGO!!! 2!!!..and now i getting 6 request to joing your pray for Haiti group??


steups...
maybe i just cranky ...forgive me..
my caribbean sensibilities seem to be more heightened since i came back from my trip..

steups..

social Networking is the devil

Like every body else ....the fear of the unknown..the unpredictable scares the shit outta me...
and the earthquake in Haiti is a glaring example of that...
On the reality that you can go to bed with life one way.
..and wake up with it utterly destroyed...if youre lucky enough to wake up at all..

Im not trying to downplay the urgency of the catastrophe..
In fact ....
on a personal level my stomach been in knots..
...and im doing my best to stay calm...
holding on to the no news is good news mantra..

But im soooo annoyed at the media...
SOOO FRIEKING annoyed...
talking about the plight of Haiti as if its A FRIGGING NEW THING!!
Jump on the bandwagon all of a sudden to cover up the friking GLARING situation
THAT AID SHOULD HAVE COME TO HAITI ...FRICKIN YEARS AGO!!
that its a big stinking stain on universal aid..
and to assuage their own guilt...over not having done enough, said enough, offered enough...
they grand stand on what theyre gonna do NOW that its a HUMAN AID catastrophe..
Im tired of listening to them....
so i watch on mute....
and wait for good news..

steups

Steups...
i been petite all my life..
and BLACK girl petite...is waaayyyyyyyy different than NON black girl petite..
{sorry if i offend anyone]
But let me break it down..
what it means...is that Im a D CUP
and i have 36-38 hips..lol...
and my thighs are ham hocks ...that narrow into salami calves...
my waist is 20 something..
so...in essence ..
I have curves...even though im four foot nine...
I am not the first...im not gonna be the last
SO WHY THE JAIL all the petite clothes made for ashley kate olsen???
Huh?
Why i have to decide what gonna fit today?
my hips...or my waist..
NO i don't have a flash fixation..
its just if i want the shirt to fit my waist....i kinda have to sacrifice those two top buttons..
Thank god im kinda crafty so i can do homemade alterations..
and No i didn't INTEND to be stepping on my pants cuffs...
cause they didn't make my length

SOMEBODY

do a clothing line for curvy girls..
I don't wanna wear a jacket that look like the spanish housekeeper coat in the movies..
and please adjust the cut so its flattering..
so sisters like me don't have to wear leggings and brazilian jeans forever..

Thank you... and good night.

the worst thing in the world...
Is being love with someone ...that is in love with someone else..
it tarnishes everything...
taking joy out of simple pleasures...
warps memories ...
colors interactions...
doctors are searching for cures for all the ails of the world...
they need to add unrequited love to that list..

People...
Let your husbands, your boyfriends,your girlfriends, your significant other's know...

That if THAT Song comes on...
that makes her smile...
that makes her squeeze her thigh.....
and shiver a little...
That makes her add her name to the lyrics...
..turn the volume up and sway..
That makes her eyes go glassy....
and her gaze transfixed....
because she has taken herself to THAT place in her mind..

If right at that minute...
where she is staring into somewhere...
a dream in her head....
a MEMORY in her mind...
...
if..

Right at that moment...

You SHAKE her and ask her..

Who do you see there???



and her eyes fall...
and the smile falters a little...



DUDE!! YOU HAVE AN EFFING PROBLEM!!!



your JOB is to be....THAT GUY!!!..





[or girl...lol...]




lmfao....carry on..

Ive been busy..
Completely focussed...single minded..
and now...thats its over..
I'm Compelled to write again...
I guess thats the purpose of this???

its like a cyclical thing huh....
When i come down off the Life high..
when i actually have time to process a thought....
instead of slicing into the core issue and extracting a result..
I have the time for conjecture and pondering...
so i wanna write..

I'm going through something now too..
I can't ...exactly say what it is either...
aint that a bitch??
its a restlessness...but for what i have no clue??
Like my actions are being governed by a seeking??? a CALLING??
a push to something that I have no clue why... or what I need...
It's hard to say exactly what it is..

I know its not governed by fear...it seems brazen...demanding...open..
I'm embracing it though...
Maybe its my mid life crisis???
My mom asked me if i were reinventing myself...
It doesnt feel like that....its not...contrived..or based on some self help analysis..
Self help doesnt work for me..

But it feels like a breaking...??
..an escaping from something...
Im not eager to talk about it much....
cause then Ill have to define it...and even in my most eloquent moments...
it still escapes me..

It has me talking to the moon at night...
I Hope its listening...

hi..


I guess Im back.