Ive been busy..
Completely focussed...single minded..
and now...thats its over..
I'm Compelled to write again...
I guess thats the purpose of this???

its like a cyclical thing huh....
When i come down off the Life high..
when i actually have time to process a thought....
instead of slicing into the core issue and extracting a result..
I have the time for conjecture and pondering...
so i wanna write..

I'm going through something now too..
I can't ...exactly say what it is either...
aint that a bitch??
its a restlessness...but for what i have no clue??
Like my actions are being governed by a seeking??? a CALLING??
a push to something that I have no clue why... or what I need...
It's hard to say exactly what it is..

I know its not governed by fear...it seems brazen...demanding...open..
I'm embracing it though...
Maybe its my mid life crisis???
My mom asked me if i were reinventing myself...
It doesnt feel like that....its not...contrived..or based on some self help analysis..
Self help doesnt work for me..

But it feels like a breaking...??
..an escaping from something...
Im not eager to talk about it much....
cause then Ill have to define it...and even in my most eloquent moments...
it still escapes me..

It has me talking to the moon at night...
I Hope its listening...

hi..


I guess Im back.