I've been cheating on Blogger with tumblr.

Probably because it was just easy to reblog someone else...to use a picture to display how i was feeling than to make MYSELF WRITE ABOUT IT...

but its not working...i need to vent..

i used to think this blog was like everything else ..

a kinda popularity contest...especially since i know who my readers were..well some of you..

figured out ...recently...that its not about you guys...with all due respect....

i need to vent....so i dont combust..i dont know if that makes me a writer or not..

i don't really care. I used to dance my worries away as a kid....and since I dont do that anymore....this must be it.

it was the main reason anyways....so ill use the tumblr for when I cant speak YET...

and use this for what it was intended...

for me to talk through my tangled thought ad end up hopefully at clarity....

oh she may be weary
them young girls they do get weary
wearing that same old miniskirt dress
but when she gets weary
you try a little tenderness
oh man that
un hunh

:) 

Thank god for places to Vent....

and Adele

and Music taking you out of yourself so you can see a LARGER picture..

The awesomeness that is Adele - Rolling in the Deep

Edit: It's the saddest thing Ever. Ever.

Didn't I give it all?

Tried my best,

Gave you everything I had,

Everything and no less,

Didn't I do it right?

Did I let you down?

A friend of mine...well someone I thought was my friend, has apparently been saying some maybe truthful, but definitely hurtful things about me to some mutual friends.

That's really nothing new for me...but this person in particular I always believed would tell me the unkind things directly to my face if she felt it needed to be said.

I expected Hard truth from her...but Directly...not a susu.

I think...I KNOW..
.I'm more upset at having to hear these things from someone else, than even the CONTENT of what was said.

I could give a RATS ASS about her or their opinion of me and my life and choices. Shit everyone is entitled to their opinion...and not many people have been allowed to see the true interior of my life.

But I think I just lost a Hero...a personal one.

I expected better!

Steups...anyways...this inspired your music track today.

I think this is one of the most haunting tracks to exist EVER. I don't think you can listen to this and forget it...regardless of the lyrics.

I ran into this today because I was listening to Angie Stone' I wish Didn't Miss You, which is a powerful version too.


(What they do!)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)

All you fellows who have someone and you really care, yeah, yeah
Then it's all of you fellows who better beware, yeah yeah

Somebody's out to get your lady
A few of your buddies they sure look shady
Blades are long, clenched tight in their fist
Aimin' straight at your back
And I don't think they'll miss

(What they do!)
(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)

I keep gettin' all these visits from my friends, yeah, what they doin to me
They come to my house again and again and again and again, yeah
So are they there to see my woman
I don't even be home but they just keep on comin'
What can I do to get on the right track
I wish they'd take some of these knives off my back

(They smile in your face)
All the time they want to take your place
The back stabbers (back stabbers)
Low down... dirty...

(What they do!)
(They smile in your face)
Smiling faces... smiling faces sometimes tell lies (Back stabbers)
(They smile in your face)
I don't need... low down, dirty bastards (Back stabbers)

Born on April 2nd, Died on April 1st, Cyper, Circle...what ever you want to call it.

Thanks for the JOY Marvin. Thanks for the JOY!!

I have to thank Carnival Divas for this...[thanks lady] but i had to share.

If this is not a lesson in "If you dont take care of your own...somebody else will" I don't know what is.

My mouth was open throughout the whole thing...Enjoy

Really? 

Hilarious. Please check out his blog too here.

or else you'll have to hear about it from ME!

Don't Say i Didnt warn you..

This one is for the dancers...HalCY!!!!!

Love IT

Anyways..Pandora threw her into my playlist this morning...Specifically...Paper Gangsta....

My head was down and I was working and listening....but paying attention to the lyrics..

This SONG IS HARD!!!!!

oh my god...its not scary metaphoric trite not my experience lyrics either ...

it Goes:

OMG...that hook is amazing.
I love the lack of music in the verses...its a plain piano chord...


Sometimes I feel so Def in the JAM??   WTH??
Is she Eminem's sister? Did she grow up in the Bronx? Does she write her own stuff?

Homegirl can't catch shit if it drop?? 
HUH? WHO IS THIS??? DOES SHE WRITE HER OWN LYRICS?????


Wont sign no Monkey papers.....
Won't sign away my life to someone who's got the flavor
but don't have no follow through....
thats a line Mary J. Blige would say back in the day...before she got happy and all..but thats another story.

got something really shiny to start
want me to sign there on your range rover heart
I've heard it before, yeah, the dinners were nice
'til your diamond words melted into some ice
you should been rapping to the beat of my song
mr. california, paper gangsta raw
I'm looking for love, not an empty page
full of stuff that means nothing but "you've been played

ollo?
its TLC...in spandex...
Where the hell have I been?
and I'm serious I need to know if she writes her own stuff before I begin this GIRL CRUSH

So I guess I Can do Gaga...
I just have to ignore the videos....
and listen with my eyes closed..

i heard my own tongue speak words that seemed alien to my ears...

I listened to the cadence...

to the measure of it....

and felt like I had betrayed...Myself...

like I've been infected with a germ of my own choosing...

like i had hidden my BELONGING....

the last outward vestige of my identity...

believing it to be temporary....

fooling myself that it would be only temporary..

that the immediate priority is to PASS...

I heard my voice today...

the hills and valleys of my life..

RAZED by assimilation.....

muddied by an inferior dialect that knew nothing 

of color and identity in the context that was my birthright...

I listened to my voice today...

and i was an alien to myself..

I was ashamed.

Woke up..with this song in my head....

This is what happens when you fall asleep with pandora playing..

Apparently these guys didnt do videos...

Steups..

The Isley Brothers Sample makes my heart hurt..

The hook.....well...just seems to damn personal...

That's a marker of a good song right?

EDIT..I don't consider Dwele a super singer [Ducks head like Luther or ...Stevie - see the comparison??]
but his first vocal on this track is amazing..
esp since the mish mosh of sample and vocals of the hook are so strong...
His first intro here is clean and clear..i like

Slum Village Featuring Dwele.. Lyrics after the Jump

The Temptation...

it is so strong...

im finding it hard to remember WHYYY i wanna grow my hair..again?

anyone? anyone? Huh? 

anyone?? 

cause....cause I Just wanted to. :)..Plus Pandora chose the album for me this morning...

Savon Garrison: When a man gets a hard on, you know where the blood come from, right? You know where the blood come from, right? His head and his feet. So A - he's stupid and B - he can't run. 



Nina Mosley: You always want what you want when you want it. Why is everything so urgent with you?

Even when he was F^(&king you...he was thinking about me..

He need an exorcism to get rid of me...

and sorry love ...you don't even have that degree...

We connected more than you can ever see

beyond you beyond him beyond me.

Searching for attention..

you only feeding the need for me..

So keep bringing the temper tantrums

and the scenes that drive him to me.

we connected on a level that you cant see..

So bring the shit...you just driving him to me..

And sometimes....

Enter.....................

Wotless

and

So when some one manages to combine that ORGANIC connection to the music, to carnival and to each other...the expression of how we feel about carnival...

God I love Soca.! <3

Hi. 

This video is hilarious....I love it.

Apparently Diss records are back...Maybe they never left...but I always thought the cleverest of "Disses"...diss-i?? [sp] were the ones where you had to figure out exactly what was being said...peel back the layers to find the truth and still have to wonder if you were correct or not. 

A BLATANT attack on someone - Tacky, un-cute, un sexy. 

Call out their NAME directly. Brave yes...but not as ..."clever" ...well at least in My eyes.

I am not a hanger...

Brave. Honest. Strong.

Whew.

Jesus.

Trying to compose myself here..

Yeah...so 

Yeah..

D'Angelo. 

Another Teaser. 

Lost One.

Just blew our minds...and vanished.

Anyways.

Yeah.

So Yeah.

DAMN. GOOD GODDAMN.

Yeah

Enjoy. 

And the Male background voice you're hearing IS Anthony Hamilton.

You know...I have friends who laugh at me cause I've been holding on to the "hope" 

Cause I didn't want to let you go.

They say..she's gone cliv..

she's BEEN gone cliv. 

Just last WEEK...see? I was waiting for you..

and its not just me...
Check this out Questions for Lauryn.

So Obviously...its NOT JUST ME..

and then..

You do THIS???? 

THIS?