Blast from the past....pics that were resurrected I think this is China we playing mas with in Hialeah. Trinis and a Jamaican, who insisted on buying new sneakers [blue] to match the outfit. Did you hear Me ??? NEW....for THAT DAY!!! after three wines, a roti, and 5 carib...she was barefoot with the sneakers hanging around her neck like a weird type of...

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I've been accused of being....super-independent, belligerent...even difficult... It kinda makes me feel like I'm a butch chick, with hair growing out of my armpits wearing a muscle jacket, and picking my teeth with a knife... I'm just complex and intelligent...and outspoken....simple as that... I know I'm not a physical threat to Anybody....wouldnt want to be.. I think people's perception of me is colored...

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QUOTE: "I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy." I've been accused of being....super-independent, belligerent...even difficult... It kinda makes me feel like I'm a butch chick, with hair growing out of my armpits wearing a muscle jacket, and picking my teeth with a knife... I'm just...

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So...I answer the phone...and I get...Clivia? That's a strange name....Sigh...What does it mean? Welll... I've learned from a long time ago...I will never see my name on a key chain in Disney, or a T-shirt....or a sticker. As a kid that was torment.....My sister's Renee and Giselle would come home from trips to "merica with all kinda paraphanelia with their names on it....but...

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Its funny how choices that you make as a youth, and maybe in arrogance can affect the more mature insightful you.As a child I was always precocious. I knew what I wanted...to be the light of my family and itty bitty island....and even more to dance. I wanted papers (education)...and exposure to all the culture that was available to me, but The DANCE...

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So...I answer the phone...and I get...Clivia? That's a strange name....Sigh...What does it mean? Welll... I've learned from a long time ago...I will never see my name on a key chain in Disney, or a T-shirt....or a sticker. As a kid that was torment.....My sister's Renee and Giselle would come home from trips to "merica with all kinda paraphanelia with their names on it....but...

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Soo.... I'm in charge of this ...well..... group right?  And the person in charge is always the one that everybody asks the questions to.  I get that.  You look for direction... and make sure that what you think is in keeping with the vision that we want to produce... But lord...... today I want to jus change my name to Shakuntala Ramlalsingh or...

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So...after months of self analysis...I guess I've mustered up the courage to have a public online blog. I'm going to have to make a special effort to write in it....and write honestly.Usually my writing is therapeutic...not necessarily informative...and now I cant cuss way di mudda so and so...who had the gall to challenge me today...sigh... ...

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So...I had a day where everything that could have gone wrong did. I'm under so many deadlines these past weeks.....and I seem to have a problem saying NO. Just those two words no. Sorry...But I can't... I have 100 Costumes to finish in T minus 12 days...and every year I've tried to minimize the last minute mad dash to complete everything........and ..I've failed...

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