I was....TERMINATED..from my job yesterday...
No warning...no probation..no reprimand...nothing..
Just called into the office and told..
Today is your last day..
after being there for 4 plus years...

I packed my georgy bundle and walked out the door...

Why?
the following words were said:
"A family member...in the industry...is qualified now to do your job... It was a hard decision....but its what we felt was best for the company. Please have whoever you apply to contact me personally for the best recommendation ever...Now...leave."

Initially i think i was upset...
I felt betrayed by the people around me...
then panic set in....it hasn't left yet..
How do I...a person who is probably irrationally independent...take care of my self??
Savings sure...
But the market sucks....esp in my field..

What the hell do you do when you've been let go?
I have no effing clue?
How do you qualify for unemployment?
How long will i be doing nothing?
What if? WHAT IF??? WHAT ???
..
how do i deal with being...

PURPOSELESS....

Habit is a bitch...
Don't get me wrong ..
I enjoyed my job...most days...and I'm good at it..
but lord knows ..I dreamed of more..
Of being more creative..of doing more.
I just wasn't prepared to be forced into it...
I woke up and went to work...and then two hours later...UNEMPLOYED.

I'm still...processing...
moments of panic...and anger...and worry..
The Parental Units are full of optimism ...and prayer..
And good advice...

I am..


Processing..