„Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of power are feared; but only men of character are trusted.“
– Alfred Adler
– Alfred Adler
that has really affected me....
like for real for real...
it was the blog of a friend...younger than I am...
who has done in her life all the things ive wanted to do...
and i realize that I've lived my life.....guided by Fear..
Not the irrational kind..
Ive done the right reasonable things based on careful painstaking THOUGHT!
decisions thought through to the very end....to make the best rational decision.
Theres nothing wrong with that...
but Ive denied myself...the opportunity to do EXACTLY what i want...
there's always been a reason to NOT be the emotional, do things on a fancy part of my self...
In fact the last thing i did on a whim was pierce my navel umpteen years ago...
In light of the economy and all the other things up in the air in this life...
this is probably not the best time...to give care to the wind...
and live the life not planned...
Ive been relying on JUST myself for so long...that I felt that I had to be consistent to make sure that I...me Clivia....would be my own safety net..
Cause LORD knows...i cant count on anyone else...
i still feel like that...
So I've been thinking through my worst case scenarios recently.....
and....
Listen to what it is...
I would go back home to Tobago...to live...get this...with my parents ...who are the coolest ever. I would start dancing again, and pan...and writing. Help my mom with her event planning business. Go with my dad to dj at events, go the beach, re-connect with my best friends. Be a part of my sister's life and have a real relationship with my nieces and nephews.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???
No really?
that's the WORST CASE!!!
really?
it's obliterated my fear....OBLITERATED!
a fearless Clivia is Entirely Powerful....
I love it.
like for real for real...
it was the blog of a friend...younger than I am...
who has done in her life all the things ive wanted to do...
and i realize that I've lived my life.....guided by Fear..
Not the irrational kind..
Ive done the right reasonable things based on careful painstaking THOUGHT!
decisions thought through to the very end....to make the best rational decision.
Theres nothing wrong with that...
but Ive denied myself...the opportunity to do EXACTLY what i want...
there's always been a reason to NOT be the emotional, do things on a fancy part of my self...
In fact the last thing i did on a whim was pierce my navel umpteen years ago...
In light of the economy and all the other things up in the air in this life...
this is probably not the best time...to give care to the wind...
and live the life not planned...
Ive been relying on JUST myself for so long...that I felt that I had to be consistent to make sure that I...me Clivia....would be my own safety net..
Cause LORD knows...i cant count on anyone else...
i still feel like that...
So I've been thinking through my worst case scenarios recently.....
and....
Listen to what it is...
I would go back home to Tobago...to live...get this...with my parents ...who are the coolest ever. I would start dancing again, and pan...and writing. Help my mom with her event planning business. Go with my dad to dj at events, go the beach, re-connect with my best friends. Be a part of my sister's life and have a real relationship with my nieces and nephews.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME???
No really?
that's the WORST CASE!!!
really?
it's obliterated my fear....OBLITERATED!
a fearless Clivia is Entirely Powerful....
I love it.
I let people steal my energy...
I submit....and don't even realize that I'm doing it?
The very thing...that drew them to me....i give over cause I believe i should compromise for those i love.
FUCK
THAT
SHIT!!
I'm pretty awesome.....i'm not being cocky...lol. I am ...:)
and loving you doesn't mean I let you treat me like I'm way LESS awesome than I am...:)
I submit....and don't even realize that I'm doing it?
The very thing...that drew them to me....i give over cause I believe i should compromise for those i love.
FUCK
THAT
SHIT!!
I'm pretty awesome.....i'm not being cocky...lol. I am ...:)
and loving you doesn't mean I let you treat me like I'm way LESS awesome than I am...:)
In the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.
_anonymous_
_anonymous_
Maybe. Its not to be. Maybe
like driving on the highway....singing your favorite song out loud...to remind you that...everything is replaceable...nothing is permanent...even your mood...and that thing that seems like the focus of your world...it can all SHIFT!!
thanks Estelle ..:)
thanks Estelle ..:)
In
Follow the Ramble,
so
I've been cheating on Blogger with tumblr.
Probably because it was just easy to reblog someone else...to use a picture to display how i was feeling than to make MYSELF WRITE ABOUT IT...
but its not working...i need to vent..
i used to think this blog was like everything else ..
a kinda popularity contest...especially since i know who my readers were..well some of you..
figured out ...recently...that its not about you guys...with all due respect....
i need to vent....so i dont combust..i dont know if that makes me a writer or not..
i don't really care. I used to dance my worries away as a kid....and since I dont do that anymore....this must be it.
it was the main reason anyways....so ill use the tumblr for when I cant speak YET...
and use this for what it was intended...
for me to talk through my tangled thought ad end up hopefully at clarity....
we have the tendency…to turn an idea or situation around and around in our heads…
looking at it from very possible angle…
replaying every possible outcome….
and deduce from all this information…all the possible HIDDEN truths that that ONE situation could possibly convey…
and BROOD on it for ever..
I’ve been in the midst of this “Brooding” for days…and cannot wait for me to get to the stage where i get the hell over it…..
Hopefully tonight….where instead of sitting in silence and having my thought run ape shit through my head…I can be distracted by some Loud trinidadians who wont leave any space…for brooding..
and yeah..
Im back..:)
looking at it from very possible angle…
replaying every possible outcome….
and deduce from all this information…all the possible HIDDEN truths that that ONE situation could possibly convey…
and BROOD on it for ever..
I’ve been in the midst of this “Brooding” for days…and cannot wait for me to get to the stage where i get the hell over it…..
Hopefully tonight….where instead of sitting in silence and having my thought run ape shit through my head…I can be distracted by some Loud trinidadians who wont leave any space…for brooding..
and yeah..
Im back..:)
